DCMU Episode 2: The Spider and the Bat Part II
by FireBuff51
Summary: DC-Marvel Unlimited: a shared universe where the heroes of Marvel and DC have always coexisted. Part 2: The Joker and Green Goblin have joined forces! Can Spider-Man and Batman stop them before they complete their evil plans? Featuring special guest stars!


**DCMU:** _DC-Marvel Unlimited. _A shared universe in which the characters of both DC and Marvel have always coexisted. Featuring new adventures and a few old ones, re-imagined...

**Episode 2:**

**The Spider and the Bat**

**Part II**

"Bruce, I can't tell you how good it is to see you again." said Reed Richards as he and Bruce descended an elevator towards the basement of the Baxter building, home to the Fantastic Four.

"Same here, Reed." replied Bruce. "I just wish it was under better circumstances."

"Please, no apology needed. This is the life we've chosen. We do what we have to."

The doors slid open and the two men stepped out into a spacious garage type area. Off to one side sat the sleek, high tech, rocket powered vehicle known as the Batmobile.

"This is awesome!" said Johnny Storm, AKA The Human Torch, as he and the musclebound Thing circled the car. "How fast can it go?"

"As fast as I need it to." Bruce replied.

"How 'bout a ride, Bats?" asked the Thing, in a gravelly Brooklyn accent.

Bruce smirked.

"Not sure how I'd shoehorn you into the cockpit."

"We have to go, boys. Sue's upstairs right now and we don't want to keep her waiting, do we?"

"You are so whipped!" Johnny called as he and the Thing strolled past.

"We'd love to stay and help you with your...problem," said Richards as he followed the others. "But SHIELD has requested us to assist them on a mission and well, you know how Nick Fury can be."

"Indeed I do. We're not very big fans of each other." said Bruce. "Thank you again for the use of your facilities."

"Hey, is Batgirl seeing anybody?" called Johnny as he stepped onto the elevator.

Richards extended his right arm fifteen feet and clasped his hand over his brother in law's mouth.

"It's the least we could." he replied graciously.

XXXXXX

"Where am I?" asked Osborn as he sat on an old couch inside of a darkened warehouse. He was still groggy from the collision.

"A cozy little abandoned toy factory on Coney Island." the Joker replied, as he stepped into the light. "I gotta say, Norman, I am a huge fan of your work. I mean, HUGE! The pumpkin bombs? I love 'em! Brilliant!"

"The Joker?" Osborn said in amazement.

"The one and only!" the Joker did a quick tap dance before him and clapped his hands. "Impressive, aren't I?"

"What do you want with me, exactly?"

The Joker plopped down onto the couch beside him and crossed his legs.

"A collaboration. A duet, if you will. I've longed to work with a fellow artist of your caliber. I mean, the opportunity doesn't come along all that often, you know?"

"Why do you want to..._collaborate_ with me?" asked Osborn suspiciously.

"Why? WHY?" the Joker cackled as he stood. "Because, my dear Norman, when it comes right down it, you're just as stark raving mad as I am! We're kindred spirits, you and I!"

"I'm not...insane."

"Oh sure you are. You know it. I know it. The crazy little voice in your head knows it."

Osborn stared down at the cement floor. He noticed a puddle of stagnant water and in that puddle, he saw his reflection. His reflection grinned back at him menacingly, even though he, himself was not smiling at all.

He broke his gaze from the water and looked up at the Joker.

"Why should I work with you? What do you want?"

"Now we're getting somewhere!" the Joker replied, pacing in front of him. "As you know, I'm from Gotham. I've grown tired of Gotham. There's this creepy guy in a bat suit over there that chases me around and won't ever let me have any fun. Do you know how annoying that is? I mean, I'm a grown man. If I want to say..._slaughter_ the city council, who he is he to stop me, right? I mean, this is America! If I want to rob a bank here and there, I should be able to...ah, but I digress."

The Joker clasped his hands behind his back.

"I just want to have a little fun, Norman. That's all. Of course, my kind of fun involves killing people and blowing things up. Things that you're all too familiar with. Am I right?"

Osborn arched an eyebrow.

"Go on."

"What is it most in this world that you crave, Norman?"

Osborn narrowed his eyes at the Joker.

"Power." he quietly growled. "I crave power."

"I knew you would say that!" The Joker sang. "You had it all until you went all batty, for lack of a better term, and started flying around killing people. You were one of the richest men in the world. You had it all. But it wasn't enough, was it? You wanted more. Your quest for _ultimate_ power, well it sort of backfired, didn't it? Eh, Normy?"

"Get to the point, clown."

"I'm going to set up shop here in the Big Apple. I want to see if I can take the soul of the greatest city in the world and crush it to dust. I want to drag this town down to depths even Gotham city hasn't seen."

"And how do you propose to do that?"

"Simple enough, really. I will destroy the city's elite. The rich, the ruling class. I will destroy New York's leaders. I will destroy her beloved landmarks. Her culture. I will spread fear across this city and soon, it will be a shell of its former self."

"Why?"

"Eh, just for kicks, really. It's what I do. But I need you, dear Norman, or more precisely, the _Green Goblin_. Together, we will own this city. I must admit, I'm pretty fearsome on my own, but I followed the Goblin's exploits and you had New York scared to death. It trembled at the very mention of your name. Well, that is...until somebody stopped you."

Osborn stared at his reflection in the puddle. The reflection glared back at him.

"Spiderrrrrr-Mannnnnn." the reflection hissed.

"Helloooo, Earth to Norman!" the Joker called, waving his arm.

"Spider-Man." Norman said quietly.

"That's right! Spider-Man stopped you. The little bastard in footy pajamas crossed my path the other day. Annoying, isn't he?"

Osborn stood and took two steps toward the Joker who slipped his right hand under his jacket and gripped the pistol that was tucked into the back of his waistband.

"What is your proposal?" Osborn asked haltingly.

The Joker released his grip on the pistol.

"You help me accomplish my goals...and I kill Spider-Man for you. Easy peasy."

"No." said Osborn.

"No?" the Joker reached for the pistol again.

"I help you...then _I_ kill Spider-Man."

"Hey, whatever, big guy!" the Joker laughed, resting his hands on Osborn's shoulders. "Either/or. I'm flexible. Now, let's get the ball rolling, shall we?"

XXXXXX

Peter snapped pictures as he made his way through the ballroom of the swanky downtown hotel that hosted the benefit for the Maria Stark foundation.

He was thankful for the distraction. He'd searched the Internet for news of the Joker, hoping to somehow find a pattern in his crimes, something that might tip him off as to what the Joker hoped to accomplish, but it was frustrating. There seemed to be no purpose behind anything that he did. It was all madness. The fact that Norman Osborn had escaped police custody was another headache that Peter didn't need.

He had even thought about asking the Fantastic Four for some sort of help, but they were out of town. Sometimes it was lonely being a superhero.

Bruce brushed past some kid photographer from one of the local tabloids as he navigated the crowd of New York's glitterati.

He saw the evening's host and reluctantly decided to say hello to the arrogant little snot as he tapped him on the shoulder.

Tony Stark turned to face his friendly rival, Bruce Wayne.

"Bruce Wayne! Good to see you, buddy." Stark smiled as they shook hands. "I want to thank you for the generous donation. I was really surprised. Particularly because Stark Industries beat out WayneTech for that big government satellite contract. Just goes to show what a class act you are. No hard feelings or anything?"

"Of course not." Bruce forced a smile.

"Tony, you are playing nice, aren't you?" asked Virginia 'Pepper' Potts as she glided over wearing a tasteful black dress and slipped her arm around Tony's.

"You know me, dear. The perfect host."

Bruce gave Pepper a friendly kiss on the cheek.

"Good to see you again, Ms. Potts. You're looking lovely as ever."

"Thank you, Bruce. It's great to see you! I don't see anyone on your arm tonight. Going stag?"

"I'm afraid so. Just in town for a couple of days on business and I thought I'd stop by to personally drop off my donation."

"Well, that was very gracious of you. Thank you."

"So, I'm amazed you're even here, Tony." said Bruce. "I thought playing superhero kept you pretty busy these days."

"Well, even Iron Man needs a night off." Stark smiled.

Bruce folded his arms.

"Billionaire playboy, superhero, not to mention the work you do with The Avengers. I don't know how you fit it all in, Tony. I know I couldn't do it. My life is busy enough as it is without having to save the world as well."

"Well, some of us have _it_, some don't." Stark raised his glass. "I should be in Gotham next month on business, Bruce. We must get together and hit the links. Wait, do they have any golf courses in Gotham? Is their _grass_ in Gotham?"

"I apologize for him." Pepper smiled. "Come on, Tony. I think the Senator would like a word with you."

"Nice seeing you again, Bruce!" Stark called over his shoulder as they headed off across the ballroom.

Peter had just snapped a picture of Tony Stark as he passed when suddenly his Spider Sense kicked in.

The lights in the ballroom went out and the room was plunged into darkness amid a collective gasp from the gathering of people inside.

A spotlight switched on from above and followed a gaunt man wearing a purple suit and fedora as he strolled across the stage.

"Joker!" Bruce and Peter whispered in unison before each man raced from the room in opposite directions.

"Is that the Joker?" Stark whispered to Pepper who nodded uncomfortably.

"Goooood evening New Yooork!" the Joker called, twirling his walking stick. "How about this party? Let's hear it for Tony Stark! Am I riiiiight, folks?"

He was met by stunned silence.

"Lights, please. Can we have the house lights turned up?" the Joker called, cupping a hand over his eyes.

"Sure thing, Puddin'!" Harley Quinn called from above.

The crowd began to murmur as the lights switched back on.

"Happy! Where's Happy?" Stark whispered, glancing around the room.

"I don't know." Pepper replied desperately. "I think I saw him in the back eating shrimp."

As Stark began to make his way through the crowd, the Joker pulled a gun and pointed it at him.

"Not so fast, Mr. Stark." he called. "Bad form if the host leaves early, isn't it?"

"Look, buddy," Stark said as he stepped forward. "I don't know what your game is, but if it's money you want, well, you know, I've got that. How much do you need? Couple grand? I think I've got that much in my sock, here..."

"You think I want money, Mr. Stark?" the Joker laughed as he held up a remote control and all of the doors in the hall suddenly slammed shut. "I don't want money. I just want to kill each and every person in here."

Shrieks and screams went up from the crowd.

"I'm going to slaughter a room full of the fattest fat cats in New York, just to show that no one is immune from my particular brand of terror!"

"You're not touching anyone in here, you hear me?" Stark shouted.

"And who's going to stop me?" the Joker howled. "I don't see your fancy tin suit anywhere, Mr. Stark. Are _you_ going to stop me?"

The skylight above the stage shattered and a figure in black dropped to the floor in a hail of broken glass.

"I'm going to stop you." Batman said as he stood.

"Well that didn't take long!" the Joker cried. "You can't even leave me alone when I'm on vacation?"

"Let these people go, Joker." growled Batman.

"No, I don't think I'll be doing _that_."

There was a maniacal, cackling laugh from above and Batman turned to see the Green Goblin swoop in through the shattered ceiling on his glider.

He circled the room, his terrifying green visage and yellow eyes eliciting frightened screams from the crowd.

"I've got a partner, this time, Bats!" the Joker called. "This may present a bit more of a challenge for you!"

Spider-Man swung down from the rafters on a web-line and collided with the Joker, feet first, sending him sliding across the stage.

"Remember me, Bozo?" Spider-Man called as he stalked towards the Joker.

"SPIDER-MAN!" the Green Goblin shouted as he set his glider on a collision course with his nemesis.

Stunned to see the Goblin, Spider-Man was taken aback, which gave the Joker time to draw his .45 and level it at him.

Batman pulled a Batarang from his utility belt and whipped it at the Joker's hand, knocking away the pistol.

Spider-Man ducked as the Goblin made a tight pass at him with his glider.

"Happy! Where the hell are you?" Stark shouted as he pushed through the panicked crowd.

"Here boss! Here!" shouted back Happy Hogan, Stark's friend and personal driver as he held a large red and silver briefcase above his head. "I'm comin'!"

"Just toss it! Give me the case!"

"Spider-Man! Get these people out of here!" Batman shouted as Spider-Man swung into the air in pursuit of the Goblin.

The Joker leaped from the stage and ran into the crowd as Batman gave chase.

Hogan tossed the case to Stark who caught it, then quickly dropped it and kicked it open. He stepped inside as the red and silver case began to unfold and then attach itself to Stark's body with several loud mechanical whines and clicks until he was covered from head to toe in the Iron Man Mark V armor.

"The doors!" Batman shouted as he ran past. "Get these people out of here!"

"Whatever you say, Dracula." Iron Man replied as he raised a hand. "Stand clear folks."

He fired a repulsor blast from the palm of his metal gauntlet at the nearest doors, blowing them off their hinges.

He turned and did the same to the doors behind him. The people streamed out as fast as they could.

"Everyone, please form a single file line...aw forget it." Iron Man sighed as he stomped off across the floor.

Meanwhile, high above Manhattan, Spider-Man swung from web-line to web-line in pursuit of the Green Goblin as the two of them soared between the canyons of sky scrapers.

The Goblin hurled a pumpkin bomb over his shoulder at Spider-Man who narrowly dodged it as it exploded above his head.

"Give it up Goblin! You're going back to prison!" Spider-Man shouted.

"Am I?" the Goblin laughed as he spun his glider around to face him. "Try and stop me!"

He raced his glider straight towards Spider-Man who swung towards him.

Spider-Man kicked the Green Goblin off of his glider and the two men landed on the rooftop of an apartment building.

Back at the hotel, the Joker fired several wide shots at Batman who dodged the gunfire easily.

Batman leaped the short distance between them and pounced on the Joker where he punched him in the face.

"Need any help, Bats?" asked Iron Man.

"We're fine here." Batman replied as he socked the Joker again.

"I'm gonna go see if the kid needs any help with the Goblin."

Iron Man blasted through the skylight and soared off into the night.

"Mercy! Mercy, Sir!" the Joker whined as Batman cocked his fist. "I beg of you!"

"Did you show any mercy to those people you killed at the parade?" Batman snapped as he gripped the Joker's lapels.

"Yes, yes. I've been a bad widdle boy." the Joker gasped. "But before you haul me in, you might want to turn around."

"Batman..." called a small voice.

Batman turned to see Pepper Potts on her knees, with a bomb strapped to her chest and a grinning Harley Quinn holding a large gun to her head.

Happy Hogan lay unconscious several feet away.

"Let my boyfriend go, Mr. B!" Harley called. "This broad ain't got too much time!"

"Batman...please..." Pepper sobbed.

Batman dropped the Joker as he stood.

"This isn't over."

"It's been fun, Bats!" the Joker giggled. "Come on, baby! Let's go get a steak!"

Harley blew Batman a kiss and ran out of the room behind the Joker.

Several blocks away, the Goblin fired several blasts of electricity at Spider-Man from his gloves. Spider-Man was forced to roll across the rooftop to elude the blasts.

"You're just gonna go to jail tired, Gobby!" Spider-Man called as he jumped to his feet.

The Goblin hurled another pumpkin bomb at Spider-Man. This one exploded at his feet and a red gas cloud floated up in front of him.

Spider-Man was disoriented and the Goblin tackled him. He punched him, then headbutted him.

Spider-Man was left reeling. The Goblin had deployed one of his most effective weapons that nearly led to Spider-Man's downfall the last time they tangled. It was a gas that temporarily dampened his spider sense, allowing the Goblin to attack him much more easily.

"If it weren't for you, I would have had everything! Everything!" the Goblin screamed as he stomped on Spider-Man's abdomen. "You ruined it all,

Spider-Man!"

"Seems...like you did...a pretty good job of ruining everything... yourself..." Spider-Man coughed as he kicked the Goblin's legs out from under him.

As Spider-Man stood, the Green Goblin fired another blast of electricity

at him that threw him against a brick wall.

"This ends tonight, Spider-Man!" the Goblin howled.

Spider-Man struggled to stand. As the Goblin raised his hand to blast Spider-Man again, Iron Man swooped down from the sky and sent him flying ten feet with one punch.

"Wow, you can shoot electricity from your gloves? That's cute." said Iron Man as he raised his own hand to reveal the glowing repulsor beam in his palm. "So can I. Wanna see?"

The Goblin laughed as he stumbled to his feet and pulled another pumpkin bomb from his satchel.

"Your party favor's aren't gonna hurt me, Osborn." Iron Man scoffed. "You know, _The Invincible Iron Man_? There's a reason they call me that."

The Green Goblin hurled a silver pumpkin at Iron Man. It flashed in mid-air, sending a rippling shock-wave that knocked him off of his feet. Suddenly, all of the electronics in his armor shut off.

"Another time!" the Goblin called.

He remotely summoned his glider then hopped onto it and disappeared.

Meanwhile, Batman knelt before Pepper Potts, examining the bomb strapped to her chest. The large digital clock affixed to it was rapidly counting down from sixty seconds.

"You can stop it, right?" she sobbed. "I mean, you can do that? You're...you're Batman after all, right?"

"Please don't talk, Ms. Potts." Batman said as he opened a pouch on his utility belt.

The Joker's insanity could be seen in the way that he had wired the bomb. There were so many wires. No doubt some were only there as red herrings while others were truly connected to the detonator secured to three sticks of dynamite.

"Approximate blast radius for sticks of dynamite this size is fourteen feet." Batman said as he cut the straps of the harness that held the bomb to Pepper's torso. "Multiplied times three means a blast radius of approximately forty-two feet. Detonation time of about five seconds..."

"Five seconds?" Pepper shrieked.

Batman checked the clock which had just clicked past fifteen seconds.

"We've got a few seconds to play with." Batman said as he stood, then hurled the bomb and attached harness to the far end of the ballroom.

He dropped in front of Pepper and pulled her close as he draped his cape over her.

The bomb exploded, showering them in a small hail of debris and knocking them to the floor.

Members of the NYPD's Emergency Services Unit rushed in, wearing full tactical gear, armed with assault rifles.

Batman brushed some of the debris from Pepper's red hair.

"You're safe now, Ms. Potts." he said, standing. "These officers will see to you."

"Thank you?" was all that Pepper could say, though the words were somehow not enough.

"Batman!" called an ESU sergeant as he slipped off his helmet. "What are you doin' here?"

"Sorry, Sergeant. No time to chat." Batman responded. "The Joker and Green Goblin were both here. Tell your men to use extreme caution."

The sergeant waved feebly as Batman fired his grappling gun at the skylight and ascended out of site.

Happy slowly sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

"What'd I miss?"

XXXXXX

Spider-Man had temporarily lost consciousness and when he came to, the first thing he saw was Iron Man sitting a few feet away tapping his helmet.

"JARVIS? JARVIS? Can you hear me?" Iron Man called.

"Wow, Goblin must've really nailed you." Spider-Man said as he struggled to his feet. "Who is it you're talking to, exactly?"

"JARVIS." Iron Man replied. "An AI program I designed that runs things for me. Sort of an 'invisible butler'."

"Ah, so you're one of those _eccentric_ billionaires." Spider-Man sighed, using air quotes over the word _eccentric_. "Gotcha."

Suddenly, the eyes of Iron Man's face piece flickered and all of the familiar gauges and icons reappeared on Stark's HUD inside his helmet.

"_My apologies, Sir, but it appears you were the victim of an electromagnetic pulse which momentarily incapacitated your armor._" called an automated British accent in Stark's ear.

"I figured." Iron Man sighed. "Damage assessment?"

"_System rebooting now, Sir...all systems functional. Power at 85%._"

"Thank you, JARVIS." he pulled off his helmet and stared at Spider-Man who was leaning against an air conditioning unit to steady himself.

"You look like hell, kid." Stark said as he stood. "Why don't I take you to a hospital..."

"Nope. I'm fine." Spider-Man sighed as he slapped his head. "Is somebody gonna answer that phone or what?"

"Look, I'll take you back to my place and fix you up. I get the whole secret identity thing, even though it's not for me, I understand. I'll ensure your anonymity..."

"Thanks, Mr. Stark, but I'll be fine. I've been knocked around worse."

"Could've fooled me." said a voice from the shadows, startling both men.

Batman stepped from the darkness.

"Oh I think I just peed in my armor a little." Stark quipped.

"Goblin got away?" asked Batman.

"Uh yeah, I had him on the ropes...and then uh..." Spider-Man sighed. "Yeah, he got away..."

Batman knelt and picked up the silver pumpkin bomb.

"Portable EMP generator. I'd heard OSCORP had one on the drawing board a few years back."

"What about the Joker?" asked Stark. "I assume you made that little prick pay for crashing my party?"

"I let him go."

"Whoa, wait a minute. You let him go?" asked Spider-Man. "No wonder Gotham's overrun with crime! The Batman has a _catch and release_ policy!"

"What do you mean you let him go, exactly?" asked Stark. "I get that you're a living legend and all, but that seems like a bit of a bonehead move."

"Ms. Potts had a bomb strapped to her chest." Batman replied plainly. "I opted to let the Joker escape and recapture him at a later date so that I could prevent your girlfriend from exploding. Did I make the right choice?"

"Is she alright?" Stark's demeanor turned serious.

"She's fine. A little shaken."

Stark slipped his helmet back on.

"I need to be with her." he said. "Anything you need to take these two down, you let me know."

He blasted off into the night sky.

"Soooo, guess I'll be going..." said Spider-Man.

"We need to talk." said Batman.

Spider-Man exhaled and crawled up the brick wall nearby where he turned and had a 'seat'.

"Here's where the crusty ol' veteran teaches a lesson to the handsome young upstart, right?" he sighed as he hopped off the wall. "Well, spare me, Pops, because I've had a rough night and-"

"Shut up." Batman replied tersely.

"Yes Sir."

Batman stared off across the rooftops.

"Those people needed our help. Instead of ensuring their safety first, you took off after your enemy. If you want to wear the mantle of _hero_, you have to earn it and act like one."

"Are you serious?" Spider-Man asked incredulously. "Do you know how many people I've saved in this city? Do you know how many criminals I've put away?"

"And all of that means precious little if lives are lost because you didn't have your responsibilities straight."

"Responsibility? You think you can lecture me about responsibility? You have no idea what I've had to deal with in my life! I wear this kooky outfit and swing from skyscrapers after bad guys because I know exactly what my responsibilities are!"

He paused as painful images of his Uncle Ben flooded his memory. Images of him dying because he didn't use his powers responsibly.

Batman turned to face him.

"You've done good work in this city, Spider-Man. I don't doubt that. Your tactics leave something to be desired. You need to hone your skills. You can't be ruled by your emotions."

"That's rich. Sorry, but any guy who dresses up like a giant bat has some kind of emotional issues. No offense."

Batman ignored the comment as he continued.

"It took me years of training to get to the point that I was ready to take on the job that I knew I had to do."

Spider-Man folded his arms.

"Sorry, Chief. I didn't have years. People needed me. I had no choice."

"You're pigheaded." Batman sighed. "I'd tell you to leave this to me, but I know you wouldn't listen."

"No Sir, I wouldn't." Spider-Man said as he stood before Batman. "You may not like the way I do things, but since it's obvious the Joker and Goblin are working together, wouldn't it make sense that we do the same? I know Goblin. You know Joker..."

"I work better alone."

"Hey, I hear you. No shame in teaming up with somebody once in a while, though. Try as I might, I've learned that you can't do everything yourself. Even _you_ hook up with the Justice League from time to time."

Batman turned and approached the edge of the roof.

"I have no doubt our paths will cross again soon, Spider-Man."

"Can I ask you a question, Batman?"

Batman shot him a sideways glance.

"What?"

"What's Superman really like?"

"Annoying."

With that, Batman leapt from the roof and disappeared.

**End of Epsiode 2**

All characters featured in this piece of fiction are the copyrighted property of their respective creators, owners and studios.


End file.
